By God’s grace.

Logged into SSABSA’s result page in what, my first try?

I got no idea why people keep saying it took then “frickin’ long” to log in.

So I got in.

Loaded the Tertiery Entrance page.

Covered the screen with my palms, because heck, need more self-induced suspense hor.

But uh, what the heck, look only la.

And guess what.

The hours of last-minute toiling away at the study tale paid off.

I got all A’s!

Yes, even Chemistry-the-dreadful-subject.

Now why did I say that so calmly ah?

Me insides are boiling over, I’m so HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGoodness slap me slap me!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

- picks up cell phone, speed dial mom’s number -

“Hello. This is the toilet bowl. Flush and leave your message. *FLUSH!*“

Argh stupid voicemail.

Dr. Zul predicted that people in our class will get a TER of 70, seeing that all of us did so badly in the common tests.

I was worried as heck la!

Surpassed my personal aim. WAY surpass my aim!

What I mean is, ZOMGWTFBBG WAAAY surpassed my aim!

Surprised as heck, but so NOT the SPM kind!

To hope for a TER of anything more than 95 was like asking my mom for a bungalow la, you know, like very exceeding like that.

But only by God’s grace.

Thank you Lord.

(I know it sounds a little stupid, to be so excited over a non-99 TER, but believe me when I say, I expected a lot less of myself.
And I would’ve totally kicked myself if all the skipping class and refusing all social outings didn’t bear fruit.
The two months leading up to the finals were like hell, partly due to the SATs and the TOEFL, but also because I realized my grades so far had been crap, and I needed, I mean needed, to get my ass into my study chair and actually STUDY!

You should see all the stuff I put up on my study table to motivate myself!

Dr. Seuss’s Oh the Places You Will Go!, and this note I wrote to myself, telling present-Chooiyen that future-Chooiyen would be ever so grateful if present-Chooiyen would actually study!)

Anyhoo.

Gotta go the Curve to meet up with a buncha friends soon.

Slept two hours before this, cannot sleep now.

Like that how to drive? Road hazard I tell you.

Bye world!

Can you hear it?

Like a cross between a bass drum being hit and the loud, random clanking of metal pots and pans.

That, my friends, is my heart refusing to calm itself.

Shit I am scared.

Who cares what you get in PMR. You’re moving on to Form 4 anyway.

Who cares what you get in SPM, you’re getting into A-Levels/SAM/ICPU/foundation anyway.

Who cares what you get in your pre-university exam? EVERYONE!
Bad results = no chance of going into good uni!

And results are out, so soon, so soon!

I don’t want that whole SPM episode to repeat itself la, suddenly get a C lidat.

Thank goodness we can check it online prior to retrieving the slip in college.
Thank goodness for sparing us the humiliation of, well, everything actually.

Scream if you did good, cry of you did bad.

And my heart still won’t quiet down.

A few quick updates, for those interested in the little mundane things.

I realize a lot of people aren’t updating their blogs much lately.

And this (used to be) crazy-about-blogging-update-everyday person has closed hers down completely!

Apa jadi?

* * * * *

My SAT 2 results are out!

I am pretty shocked.

When I came back from the testing centre that day, I was toying with the idea of cancelling my scores, because I knew I did very very badly.

I knew because, well, I couldn’t finish the paper. With an average of 12 blank questions for each subject test, and I rush-answered a whole bunch of other questions.

I was expecting 500+ scores, man! I was obviously dreading receiving the results. I also regretted not signing up for the one in December, so I would have time to study for it.

I came home that day, was in a funky Mood during lunch, went to sleep (which is what I do when I don’t want to think about something), woke up at 15-minute intervals and got this heavy, sinking feeling that no college would accept me.

Surprisingly though, other than a 670 for Biology, I think my scores were pretty okay.

That weird heavy feeling I got when I thought I couldn’t apply to a lot of universities (’cause of my very bad SAT 2 scores) is gooooooone!

* * * * *

Ms. Param is officially my favourite teacher EVER.

Yes, yes – of all the near 100 teachers I’ve had throughout my 16 years of schooling, I don’t think I’ve ever had a teacher like her.

(And to think Ker Lei switched her initial class because she didn’t like her Biology lecturer! Uh, Ms. Param la.)

When I gave her the teacher’s recommendation forms before trials, she sat me down and spent 40 minutes talking to me about my goals, my dreams, things like that.

So I went back to college today, to get the recommendations from my lecturers.

I thought it was going to be very quick, y’know, like, get stuff, say thank you, then leave.

But she sat me down again, and spent – how long was it?- talking to me about my future, and politics, and NGOs, and changing the world.

You heard right – she believes I can change the world.

Ms. Param has this way of making you feel good about yourself, you know?

Like when you have full marks in one page of an exam paper, she’d write “good” and underscore it, which is obviously very nice to look at. And when you have a very good answer, she’d write “excellent!” and it makes you smile, y’know?

Or when you ask her what you got wrong, she’d tell you what you wrote was a very good answer that showed you did a lot of studying, told you that it was great that you weren’t so single track minded, then go, “But there is a mark scheme for exams. It would’ve been an even better answer if you wrote…”

Even my parents have a very good impression of her from the parent-teacher meetings.

She spent a good amount of time talking this afternoon, so much so that my parking ticket almost ran out of time (and I had actually put in extra coins Just In Case).

Her entire family seems to be the environmentalists sort, I think her sister is a clean water advocate and does research on things like that, her bro is in NGOs, and all of Ms. Param’s students would attest to her apparent passion for the environment.

I think that’s way cool.

So. When I was about to leave, she wished me luck, reminded me to update her with news about myself, and went, “I believe in you!”

I think that’s even cooler.

* * * * *

Can you believe, it’s been two weeks since our finals ended?

So fast!

Wait another 3 weeks, and the results will be out!

Furrowed brows and rushed scribbling. I didn’t have enough time for chemistry.

BUT. During the last 5 minutes I didn’t really care anymore, it was more of a “ummm this one is blank uhh don’t care la simply write something” attitude.

Still, when the invigilators told us to “stop writing”, and that “any more writing is considered an act of cheating”, and when they collected our papers, it felt a weeeeee bit surreal, kind of like, “What, so it’s really totally over now? Like, really really?”

I was also thinking, thank goodness I don’t take Specialist Maths! (They have until Friday!)

Yeah, it’s so over!

(Now me classmates can finally blog without a certain mentor going, “Still blogging?! Study ah!”)

You can almost hear the collective sigh of relief when people from the Bio-med classes finally let their breath out. (One that we have been holding since 2 months ago!)

So anyway. Things started going a bit melancholy afterwards when we went out, because people started realizing that this is the end of G10.

“Keeping in touch” is easier said than done, especially when everyone’s flying back home. If you think about it, only Adeline and I will still be in PJ!
We couldn’t even have a proper post-exam class gathering, because people are flying off as early as today and tomorrow.

But the good news is, we’re now the only group of people without exams to sit for!

Over the past year, my non-SAM friends have begun not-believing me when I say I have exams. Like, only few weeks ago you say exam, now got exam again?!

But it’s true! You finish one batch of Common Tests, and before you can properly enjoy, you realize something else is just around the corner.
(This is a condensed course la. Which is why we’ve got Common Test 1, 2 , 3, Mid years, Trials and Finals, all in the span of 10 months.)

At one point Marvi jsut assumed I had an exam going on. I think she asked me out out of courtesy’s sake, lol.

But I’m going to make amends, for all the times I said I didn’t want to join them!

First thing I did after exams, I bought chocolate and am geared up for a visit to a neighbour-cum-bestfriend-cum-confidante’s place.

Would you believe that I was such an ass, I actually (kind of) cut her short on the phone because it was 11.30 the night before my Biology paper?

I immediately felt bad about it, but apparently not enough to call her back.

(In my defence though, I have to say that I gotta wake up at 5 a.m. to get to school by 6.30 because the darned paper starts at 7!)

Okay I’ll have a proper, more descriptive post up soon!

Here is a photo of G10, or whoever went out after exams anyway.

(Uh Paige I removed your cell phone from the table. Oh I will upload the undoctored photos one la don’t worry.)

Next up, prom shopping with Adeline and Anggit!

Till then, bye!