November « 2006 « Chooeee

November 26, 2006

I Am A Rock

I am perhaps more familiar with the music of Simon and Garfunkel than I had thought I was.

Their records have been played in my house for years and years, and like the music of all the other “oldie” bands, I never really payed much attention to them, much less learned to appreciate them.

I could remember random parts of the lyrics, but I was never sure which words came in where.

But you know, over the past year I have kind of taken a liking to oldish music. (Anything before the 1990′s is old to me!)

I must say, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel are amazing lyricists.

One of my favourite S&G songs -

I Am A Rock

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don’t talk of love,
Well, I’ve heard the word before.
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

“The loneliest people in the world are those that cannot share their loneliness, through fear, pride or anger. And the ache builds walls, fear populates their dreams and pride is then the jailer of the soul.”

A rock feels no pain. An island never cries.

Lovely.

It reminds me of The Fragile,
“We’ll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I’ll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side”

For the wierdest reasons, I have a fascination for songs with themes of isolation and solitary confinement (um, not the prison punishment kind).

I’m not all closed-up-and-keep-things-bottled kind myself, in fact I readily open up to a few people, but sometimes it feels nice to pretend you don’t have to bother about things.

Wierdly, it also feels nice to pretend to be angry at the world once in a while.

Nothing to do with being immatured and being pissed at everything.

It’s a bit like (for a short while) blaming something else for the wrongs in your life, pretend it’s not all your fault, feel better in the process of it, and when it’s all done, take back all your responsibilities and continue life where you left off.

You’d probably handle things better, without feeling too upset and worthless.

Anyway. Go listen to the song, download it, it’s especially lovely when they get to the end.

(By the way, in case I sound emo-ish, I jolly well am not. Sometimes music makes you feel things that you don’t understand the what’s and why’s. That’s the beauty of it.)

Stuffed under Music at 1:29 pm

November 25, 2006

A pinch of salt

Some time in July, I found out I “telah terpilih untuk mengikuti Program Latihan Khidmat Negara siri 4/2007″.

So I was pretty VERY enthusiastic about it.

Then the wise ol’ Canned-Meat asked me, “What about your studies?”

And I naively thought, “To hell with my studies! I could take a little break, couldn’t I?”

Now I’m 4 months older, and more matured.

I was praying and hoping and WISHING I’d be one of the 2nd batch, and then I saw that -

That’s it then.

First batch.

My only consolation is that it’s still in Selangor, so my parents could come visit and hand me anything that needs to be done.

It’s so unfortunate that deadlines for applications to so many things so often have to be in March, or early April.

So I was complaining last night, what about application essays? What about letters of recommendation? No way I could have those done in 20 days.

But you know, “Be Proactive”, so I figure National Service could be such an amazing experience that I could somehow incorporate it into my essays. If I ever have the time to write them, that is.

I was also told that unless you’re taking your A-levels, you’re better off taking the SAT early in the year, as early as possible after the SPM, before your mind goes all dull and slow.
Imagine how sucky it would be, to have to re-study your Fizik and Biologi Buku Teks Tingkatan Lima late next year when everyone has already chucked those away far from sight.

But then again it’s bad enough having to forget everything you’ve been taught in Malay, and re-learn things in English.

(Leaving in January also means having to celebrate my birthday with people whom I barely know. No candles for me to blow out, no birthday wishes waiting to come true.)

* * * * *

Anyway. I saw photos of my camp, it seems pretty decent.

It reminds me of Dusun Eco haha.

Three months of music deprivation. By the time I come back, the latest song that I know of, is the song all of you would consider ancient.

MP3 cell phones and iPods are completely out of the question.

(Speaking of iPods, I bought an iPod nano! Thanks to a classmate whose aunt is kind enough to purchase it from Singapore. Apple products are generally cheaper over the causeway. Just gotta wait til Tuesday!)

And what if some really good bands happen to stop at Malaysia for a one-night-only concert? What if Rockstar Supernova comes (and they probably would)? I’d still be in Selangor, so near yet so so far.

I was told that food there is spicey, and I was also told it’s curry, curry and curry.

Yay!

So despite the few gripes that I have (I’m only complaining a little because I was hoping for batch number 2), I’m actually all psyched up for it!

One month away!

(I heard you could go to church or to the temple, or both, at least that’s how it is in Kem Geo Kosmo.)

* * * * *

My eyes are burning, and they hurt behind the sockets.

It was bad enough during the EST objective paper, and it was only the eyes then.

Now my head is throbing, I’m cold one minute and hot the next, and blinking my eyes hurt.

Studying is the least I feel like doing.

* * * * *

Apple : “I’m worried, what should I wear for prom?”
Orange : “Don’t worry, just be comfortable in your own skin.”
Apple : “So I should just go naked?”

Birthday suits are best worn at home IN YOUR BATHROOM.

Stuffed under Ramblings at 2:57 am

November 12, 2006

Exam blues (and yellows and reds)

I was surfing around Yahoo’s Time Capsule site, and came upon this.

You know, I wish I were panicking right now.

But I’m not.

You can tell from how I’m still surfing the Time Capsule that I’m taking things a little too easily.

And I totally dislike chatting with brainy people during times like these.

10 hours of studying a day? I’m only doing 3.

Bought 5 workbooks for every subject? I only got 2.

I even forgot basic names like “vena kava” and I realize whatever I studied for Sejarah two weeks ago have already gone to the mental waste dump.

And to make things worse, I’m looking forward to SPM because the sooner it’s over, the sooner I get to enjoy myself.

Looking forward means I’m excited, and being excited means I’m not worried and not pushing myself to study harder.

I was talking to my cousin, who’ll be sitting for her STPM, and it was good for the both of us because she got to rent and complain how TOUGH Form 6 is, and it’s good to be chatting with HER ’cause she’s panicking because she REALLY isn’t fully prepared yet, and that kind of got me worried just a little bit.

Worse still is when your parents tell you you’ll “do fine, don’t worry”.

Just because by some amazing miracle you manage to get A’s in your previous government exams, they expect you to do it again, and they presume it’ll be EASY for you.

My mom thinks that as long as you have your face in the books for a good amount of hours a day, you’re guaranteed an A, like it’s just bound to happen.

I don’t think she knows things like “forgetting facts” and “making mistakes” and “getting a MEAN examiner” exist.

I only hope they won’t get too disappointed when the results are out.

Anyways.

I’m expecting no one comes here anymore, since I declared it abondoned, so I’m just here to talk to myself, and make myslef look stupid while I’m at it.

Task done.

Leaving, bye!

Stuffed under School n' Stuff at 5:35 pm